Frickin’ Lasers

by Mike Phenow

Let’s ease into this whole blog thing with something decidedly uncontroversial…

I type this wearing years-old glasses that do not, in fact, focus images very well on my retinas. I have been wearing them for the past few days in order to allow my eyeballs to return to their natural shape, free from the deforming influences of contact lenses.

This is being done in anticipation of a surgery I will be undergoing tomorrow (well, technically, later today). About 12 hours from now an optical surgeon will be performing photorefractive keratectomy, whereby he will use a microkeratome blade to remove the epithelium (outer layer of the cornea) of both of my eyes and then use a laser to reshape my eyes’ corneal tissue to correct myopia, all within the span of a few minutes.

I am excited on a number of levels. Obviously, I’m excited to have my vision corrected and to be able to ditch contacts and glasses.

I’m also terribly curious and fascinated by the whole thing. It is truly astounding what modern science has accomplished.

It gives a person pause to know that they are about to make a deliberate, permanent change to their body, particularly a highly sensitive part of your body that is so crucial to your experience of life and so closely associated with your identity. (No, not that part.)

I’m perhaps also morbidly curious to know what it smells like when your eyeballs are being burned with frickin’ lasers.


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